Do you suffer from adulthood?
Let me start with a confession. I am a person who likes doing psycho analysis of people and forming an opinion on them based on my judgement. Most times, my judgement has not been wrong, barring the times when it has been wrong! 😁😁
On a serious note, it has been recently pointed out to me by a friend that I am a victim of adulthood. It has been noted about me that I tend to form an opinion pretty fast and stick to it for a very long time. I need to be more child-like and not overthink. I am not sure if you have felt the same way about yourself or about someone you know.
Well! Honestly, that came as a shock to me. In my head, I was always a perfect embodiment of mind and body😂. Seriously speaking, this was an eye opener for me. My friend gave me a few examples of how I have been too quick to make judgements recently. Also, the fact that I had too many 'nevers' in my life. Like, I would never want to be in a cold place, never want to drink that juice, never want to wear that kind of dress and so on... Are you one of those people? If yes, then read on.
A question - why do we become so sensitive and inflexible when we grow up. Yes, there is a scientific argument around development of prefrontal cortex, etc. However, that's hardly an excuse to not do better with ourselves. More can be done and should be done to deal with this.
To start with, one needs to first recognize the problem statement. I cannot change my outlook if I am just going to be dismissive of what my friend told me. So, the first step is to listen and reflect when you receive feedback from your loved ones. They have seen you through your thick and thin and when they say something is wrong, you better listen.
Next, make a conscious effort to be kind to people. This may sound cliched, but it does work the moment you genuinely start trying. I have tried this, it really helps. Also makes the conversations more fun because... no judgements!
Next up, remain mindful that you may misjudge people irrespective of how well you know them or how perceptive you are. Humans are complex beings possessing a variety of characteristics. There are layers to each personality. Also, people behave differently in different situations. You can hardly predict what's coming next from them. But that is not to say that humans can't be understood at all. It is possible, it just takes a lot of time and a hell lot of patience.
Next, focus on what you are rather than what others are or aren't. Most times, we spend time analyzing why or how the person is not meeting our expectations. What we fail to analyze is what can we do differently while dealing with them. If X approach doesn't work, did we try Y or Z. The focus has to be on what we can do and what we can control. The more we focus on our own actions, better the results with understanding people.
So, the next time when you realize you are judging someone, just stop yourself there. Take a moment to reflect on what could be other scenarios and how you can change the way you think about the other person. The power is literally with you.
Also remember to keep that child in you alive. Remember, how we used to forget about a bad day in school when we would come home to our favorite meal? Those years, we didn't take things to heart like we do now. We were good at letting go, forgetting, forgiving and even giving. It is not easy to be this person in today's day and age when you are taught to be tough and beware of selfish people. But the more we carry on our heart and mind, the heavier it becomes. Hence lighten up baby! 👶
I am going to start taking baby steps to rekindle my childhood values. And instead of saying 'Never', let me start by saying 'Maybe' and explore the possibilities of life!
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